We have a family member who constantly lies to her husband about her credit cards.
He thinks they have a great credit rating because he occasionally takes out “Six months same as cash” deals on furniture or electronics.
I know that they have a great credit rating because she has six credit cards that she’s had for years, and always makes the payments on time.
I dread the conversations where he advises me “All you have to do is take out a few six months same as cash loans, and then pay them off – it worked for us!” Inwardly I groan. We’re repairing our credit after bankruptcy, which is a serious ordeal. I don’t think a few six-months-same-as-cash loans (which we qualify for in our dreams) is going to fix anything for us.
So, I grit my teeth and cry a little inside. Not just because I know better, but because realizing their true situation makes me a party to the lie…
Yes, paying off those loans probably helped them, but it’s the wheeling and dealing going on behind his back that makes up most of their score. So I was thinking about it, and I wondered, “Is this normal?”
I mean, in our pre-bankruptcy days, I’ll admit that I occasionally made purchases and did not inform my spouse of the amount, but I was the one that handled the money.
So, does my family member who’s hiding her cards feel the same way? She handles the money, so there’s no harm done?
After we declared bankruptcy my husband and I made a promise to be honest with each other, and to both try to handle the money together so that we really could have a fresh start.
So far, I’ve kept my promise. I don’t put much money on my credit cards, but when I do, my husband knows about it. I don’t give him the amount to the penny, but I do say “It was about $60” or whatever.
I think this policy has actually helped our marriage, and we have better control over our money than ever before. I can’t help but wonder though, are we the exception? Are you honest with your significant other about your debt? What about when you first met?
After I spent some time thinking about this, I surfed around a little online, to see what I could find. I came up with a few excellent articles that I wanted to share with you – in case you were interested too:
- Do you keep secrets from your spouse? – BeingFrugal.net
- Lies, money and marriage – what can you do? – Gather Little by Little
- Financial Infidelity is Rampant – MSN Money / Liz Pulliam Weston
So, how about you? Have you ever told a “white lie” to your spouse about money? Do you know of family members who lie to each other about credit card debt? Are you ever caught in the middle? Tell us about it in the comments section below – It’s fine to be anonymous.
Photo Credit: CommittedMarriage.com